Tag Archives: boyfriend

Anti-D

If you’ve been keeping up with my more-sparce-than-usual-lately blog, then you know that I was on an antidepressant called Fetzima from February of this year until the end of September, when my prescription ran out and my financial situation and a switch in insurance forced me into a tough choice to go without the medication.

It’s been a rough time.  At first it wasn’t too bad, but day by day I feel the mental illness creeping back in, making itself at home in the familiar crevices of my mind.  I’m more irritable and I feel like crying at the drop of a hat.  Negativity clouds my every thought.

This makes it hard not only for me, but for the people around me.  I do a pretty good job of keeping it together at work, but my significant other has a time of it, too, just by living with me.  M really does his best, though, and I love him for it.

M’s actually the reason I’m holding it together so well.  He understands what I need when the depression takes an especially firm grasp.  He doesn’t tell me to “just cheer up” or to “get over it,” he lets me feel whatever feeling that I’m feeling – however strongly it needs to be felt.  Whether I’m crying over wanting to heat up the cheese dip for my chips or overly annoyed with the cats being cats, he doesn’t tell me that I’m overreacting or that I need to calm down or get over it.

In fact, when I do get irritated at tiny, insignificant things and take it out on him – “M, why do you always just kick your shoes off and never put them away” or “Do you always have to put your coat on in such a weird way?” – he doesn’t take it personally.  He complies in situations that call for it, like putting his shoes away.  Or he calls me out on it, like telling me I’m being hurtful.  His honesty helps keep me grounded.

His honesty when I’m being hurtful and his validation of my feelings helps me keep my emotions in check and helps me manage my depression.  I really do appreciate M standing by me as I live with this illness.  He’s so supportive and I wouldn’t be handling being off of medication as well without him.  He’s like a real life antidepressant, and I love him for it.

Here’s a song that I’d like to dedicate to M.  I know it’s rough to deal with me when I get lost in my own head.  This video is a tribute to M and to the fact that while medication does help many people, it’s not the only thing that I need to treat my depression.  I need love, and M, you give it to me.

Without further ado, Anti-D by The Wombats:

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Weekly Update #39

So, the second half of this week kicked my ass pretty hard. Tuesday afternoon, my phone battery decided it was just done. Apple, while seeming helpful, actually did fuck all. Some personal health issues rounded up the week. At this point, not a damn thing has been resolved.

Wednesday is typically my day off, but this past week I felt like I worked more that day than any day I actually had to go to work. Woke up early, dropped my car off for an oil change, went back home to chat with Apple Support and then make a bunch of calls to places in town that Apple said would be able to fix my phone only to find out that lol jk no they can’t. Then it was a bit of a whirlwind with appointments with doctors and potential future employers.

From there, some personal health issues took off, leading me to call in to work Friday to deal with that whole can of worms I’m not going to open right now.

Saturday was a little easier. Work was fairly slow, making for an easy day. After work, I was able to take my mind off of things by going to the Celtic Festival with M and another friend of mine. It was pretty fun, except for when we ran into M’s ex. That was awkward for me. I’ve never met an ex before. I got jealous. M took the time to talk me down when we got home later that evening, which was appreciated.

Today, I’m posting from game again. I went out this morning and ran errands while M was at his H&R Block class. Got around to doing laundry finally, and just sort of took it easy on my day off. None of the issues started earlier this week have been resolved, but it was nice to just take the day as basically one deep breath after a week of frustrated yelling.

Weekly Update #37

This past week has been a whirlwind!  M and I left right after work on Saturday for Minneapolis, then came back to Iowa on Wednesday only to leave right away again the next Saturday morning for my cousin’s wedding in Wisconsin.  We just got back yesterday from everything only to work bright and early this morning.

I meant to post an update yesterday, but I ended up getting some new bookshelves as a hand-me-down from my grandmother and cleaning those up, bringing them down to the basement and transferring all my books from one cramped shelf to two nice, spacious shelves.  And then I took a nap.  Like a 5-year-old.  A 5-year-old in her mid twenties.  It was glorious.

Posting schedule will go back to normal this week.  Tomorrow will be In A Hundred Words.  And we’ll be back on track from there.

I bought a book a while ago called WordPress for Dummies.  I just now started working through it.  It’s about time I actually learned to do more than publish a post.  So also expect some big changes in the near future for little old Day Old Sushi.

In other news, I’ve applied to a few new jobs.  Hopefully I’ll at least get an interview for one of them.

I bought new labret studs for my lip piercing.  Unfortunately, mine is stuck at the moment.  The ball is screwed on too tight.  And also, it’s actually the starting stud from when I got my lip pierced because I was broke for the longest time.  So I’m gonna try a few tricks I’ve found on the internet here and there before I give up and go find a pierce-er and pout until they fix it.

I think that pretty much covers it.  Thanks for tuning in, my lovely readers.  See you all tomorrow!

Time Off

So, I know I’ve had some time off recently, though not really planned.  But this weekend marks the start of an actual vacation!  One that I’ve planned and saved for!  One that I’m very excited for!

Saturday after work, M and I will be driving 6 hours up to Minneapolis, MN.  We’ll spend four days bumming around my old stomping grounds.  Sunday, we’re going to the Renaissance Festival with a couple of friends of mine.  No real solid plans outside of that.  We do want to hit the Mall of America and I’m thinking also Walker Art Center and the sculpture garden.

Then, we come home and work for two days before tripping up to Wisconsin for the weekend for my cousin’s wedding.  It’ll be nice for M to finally meet a lot of my extended family.  I just met his this past Sunday at a family barbecue.

It’ll just be a nice, much-needed break from the routine of everything.  I’ll be able to see all my friends from MPLS and I’ll be able to see my family in WI.  And I’ll have M with me the whole time!

Even with my days off and my new schedule where I’m working an earlier shift and subsequently getting off work earlier, I still wind up feeling overwhelmed by everything I’m trying to do.  I’m hoping this vacation will relax my brain and help me get back in the mindset to tackle all my goals head-on.  I’m hoping it will help me re-focus on what I really want to do and lose the things I’m doing just to do.

Sometimes you just get stuck in your own routine.  And that’s exactly what vacations were made for.  Step outside of the rut you’re wearing down for yourself in your daily path.  Jump on to a trail less traveled.  I know meeting up with my old friends will give me new purpose.  John is such a brilliant artist and I’ve seen him take some great strides in his own career recently that make me want to follow his lead.  And Jamie struggles with a lot of the same productivity/focus issues that I do.  Lately, she’s been researching how to put her time to better use and her determination really inspires me.  Being around those two is going to do me worlds of good.

I have some posts scheduled to go up while I’m gone, but I won’t be promising a weekly update this week (I’ll be in Minneapolis).  And next week, I’m skipping the Pinterest Project in favor of my cousin’s wedding.  But after that, I’ll be back with more ferocity than ever in terms of my commitment to producing quality content for this blog to make it everything I want it to become!

Weekly Update #36

Okay, I think I’m more or less back on track with my posts. Thank you guys for bearing with me. The health issues in my family have fixed themselves more or less, it seems. And the internet issue has been more than fixed.

I started a new schedule this past week. Instead of working 11:30 PM to 8 PM, the second shift at APAC, I now work 8 AM to 4:30 PM. It means getting up at the ungodly hour of 6 AM, but it also means feeling like I have more time in my day. I’m actually very excited for this new schedule. Once I adjust to functioning so early in the morning and I’m not constantly exhausted, I’m very much looking forward to using that free time after work in better ways.

M and I went to go see Guardians of the Galaxy on Wednesday. It was very good! I highly recommend it! It’s not the average superhero movie. It’s not as straightforward as other “hero-saves-the-universe” movies. Each character has an interesting and compelling backstory, and this first movie is a great introduction to the characters. The sequel is slated for release in 2017 and I cannot wait! Groot and Rocket are my favorite. I do wish that Gamora’s character had been treated a little differently, though. She’s supposed to be this bad-ass character but sort of gets sidelined into a damsel in distress. Not too happy about that one.

Next Saturday, M and I are driving up to Minneapolis for a little vacation. I’m pumped to see all of my friends again as well as for M to meet them all. I will post as consistently as possible while I’m away. Then, two weeks from today, my cousin is getting married in Wisconsin. M and I will be attending that as well.

And that pretty much does it for new and exciting things in my life. Until next time, my dear readers!

“I Think I Need Some Space…”

M and I both live with our parents for the time being.  We’re both working and trying to pay down our massive student loans, as you do now-a-days when you graduate college.  Most of the time, M stays at my house because it’s closer to work.  M lives about 45 minutes away from where I live, and about an hour away from where we both currently work.  On days off, we typically spend time with M’s family at his house.

With both of us already lacking in personal spaces away from family members, it’s hard for us to have individual spaces within our already small rooms.  As much as I love M, I do need time for myself and I very much enjoy having a space that’s specifically mine.  M is the same.  He needs that same sort of space.

We finally rectified the issue.  M bought me a little desk and rearranged his room to make space for it.  I don’t really have room in my room for another desk, but I was able to make other arrangements for M.  He brought an old computer over and we cleared off a wooden table for him to use as a desk.

I can’t speak for M, but it’s very important for me to have my own space as well as time to myself to work on my own personal projects.  I love M, and I love spending time with him, but everyone needs time for themselves.  And that is usually facilitated by a space all for themselves.  I am really lucky I have someone who understands that and is willing to give me that space.

Weekly Update #35

Today, my dear readers, started off pretty poorly. I occasionally go long stretches where I have trouble sleeping – which I am unfortunately in right now – and then this morning Disco was being especially needy. Poor kitten, his food bowl was half empty and we just can’t have that! Then, the little punk decided to knock a bunch of stuff into some very hard to reach places. It was not fun to move heavy furniture around to get the necklace and other various items the furry terror knocked off.

M and I are attending a wedding the first weekend in September, so we had to go shopping for outfits for the both of us. M was easy. He just needed a nice dress shirt. We went to several stores looking for a dress of some sort for me and had zero luck. It always frustrates me when I see so many cute dresses, but can’t find my size. Eventually, I was able to find several cute outfits at Target, and not just for the wedding.

The highlight of my day was the dinner that M and I invited our respective parents to. We figured it was about time they met each other. The dinner went well, I think. I hope, anyway. It seemed like it went well…

Other than that, it’s been a pretty normal week.

I’m late in posting because right after dinner yesterday, we went straight to game and that ran until 11 PM. I was asleep the moment my head hit the pillow. But I’m typing this on my lunch break at work – that’s how much I love you, my dear readers.

Weekly Update #33

Another week come and gone.  Still working on my various skills at work.  In order to move forward, I need to work mainly on my handle time.  So that’s what I’ve been doing.  It’s slow going, but we’ll see how I improve week by week here.

It’s my friend Mike’s birthday today!  I wanna wish him a happy birthday for the whole world to see!  Assuming the whole world reads my blog, which I know they don’t, but still.  Happy birthday, Mike!

And also a happy birthday to my boyfriend’s brother, Ryan!  He’s turning some kind of age.  I think we’re doing lunch with him or something.  I don’t know yet, I haven’t been told what the plan is.  But I have a card that I think will make Ryan love/hate me even more than he already does.  I’m kind of excited to see his reaction to it.

I’ve started doing a little bit of research into the possibility of going back to school.  I know, I already have 3 degrees, but none of them are really working for me.  I mean, I may still try to teach English in Japan, but I would need further education to teach Japanese here in the States.  Teaching really isn’t my thing, though.  And translating is more or less out because freelance work is not gonna pay my student loans back.  For my other degrees, there’s not much work in the music industry here in Iowa.  The music culture here is a lot more who-you-know than what-you-know.  And I don’t really know anyone.

I’m looking at possibly going back for Health Information Technology.  I would have to do it part time or online because I really can’t afford to not be making money.  I don’t want to have to take out even more loans, but right now I’m still in the research stage.  I think I would actually enjoy the work I’d be doing.  I like inputting and organizing data.  Color-coding things, answering questions about insurance and the law and all sorts of fun stuff.  I’m not even being sarcastic, that kind of thing is right up my alley.  Bonus: it would be a job where I wouldn’t have to be on the phone all the time.  And better pay.

Has anyone else gone to school for Health Information Technology or currently work in the field?  Let me know your experiences in the comments!

Pinterest Project: Cake Batter Rice Crispy Treats

I may have mentioned before (or maybe not), but I love baking.  Cookies, cakes, brownies, anything sweet that goes in the oven I love.  I found a pretty easy-looking recipe to make with my less-baking-inclined boyfriend: cake batter flavored rice crispy treats.

Cake Batter Rice Crispies1

The original recipe I found at Gimme Some Oven through Pinterest.  It’s pretty straight forward.

Cake Batter Rice Crispy Treats

Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes
Yield: 12-16 servings

Ingredients

  • 4 Tbsp. butter
  • 1 (10 oz.) bag of mini-marshmallows
  • 1/2 cup yellow cake mix (the dry cake mix, not prepared into a batter!)
  • 5 cups crispy rice cereal
  • 1 (1.75 oz.) container of sprinkles

Method

Melt butter in a large saucepan over low heat and add marshmallows. Stir until they begin to melt, then remove from heat. Whisk in the (dry) cake mix, then stir in cereal so it is completely coated with marshmallow mixture. Sprinkle in half of the sprinkles and briefly stir. (Don’t stir too much or the sprinkles will bleed out their color.) Press the mixture into a baking dish (any size will do) and top with remaining sprinkles. Let sit for about 30 minutes before cutting. I find spraying a knife with nonstick spray helps to cut them cleanly.

Disclaimer: You consume dry cake mix at your own risk.

Cake Batter Rice Crispies3

I made a double batch because M was just having so much fun with the sprinkles!  They didn’t last very long.  My family scarfed down about half, then we shared with M’s family, too.  And between M and his two brothers, the remainder lasted all of 20 minutes after our arrival at his house.

All in all, I would definitely make these again!  They were a huge hit.  Although I did also find a recipe for cookies & cream rice crispy treats, so a batch or six of those might be in my near future.

Weekly Update #32

This week has been a bit of an exciting week! Work has been going, and I’m taking steps to further that portion of my career. M bought me a ring. Insurance is confusing. And I got to talk to my best friend for the first time in forever!

Anne, my bestie, lives in Japan. She teaches English and is often busy with photography projects as well. Our schedules don’t often allow for hours of chatting. It did when I wasn’t working, but now that I work nights, not so much. The daylight hours between here and Nagoya are about 12 hours off, so her mornings and my nights line up. And since I work nights now, that opportunity is no more. But it was really nice to catch up with her. I’ve known Anne since 2006, which would be about 8 years now, I think. That’s a long time for me to remain close friends with someone. I’m just kinda bad at keeping in touch with people if they’re not living in my immediate vicinity. Anyway, I’m starting to get off topic. The point was that it was nice to talk to her.

Insurance is confusing, as I have previously stated. I was dropped from my parents plan at the beginning of the month and the plan I signed up for through work was supposed to kick in. There were some issues with documentation and also somehow I’m also on Medicaid now? I keep getting welcome letters and cards from a bunch of different insurance companies. I haven’t had time to sit down and sort out what’s what. But that’s exactly what I have to do tomorrow because I need to get some refills on my meds. So that will be a fun morning on the phone with various insurance companies and then 8 hours on the phone as a representative of an insurance company.

M bought me a ring on Wednesday. Not an engagement ring. Not yet. Just a promise ring, for lack of a better term. Because of our respective debts, we aren’t where we want to be in our life together and this ring is sort of a promise that things are moving forward, even if they are moving slowly. We had to get the ring resized, so I get to go pick it up on Tuesday. I’m very excited to wear it! It means a lot to me that M thought that much about how I’ve been saying I’m frustrated with our current place in life and decided to do something to remind me that we will get to where we want to go. We will. Eventually.

And that’s pretty much been my week.