That’s Too Much, Man!

A lot of people probably think that depression is strictly feeling sad, lonely, and, well, depressed. But depression affects all of one’s emotions – differently for different people, of course. When I’m going through a period of depression, another main emotion that I find effected for myself is anger.

Little things irritate me far easier and quicker. And those little irritations build quickly into frustrations, which snowball into screaming sessions when I’m alone in my car just to vent my anger.

I have an example from just the other day at work. My workday was going by normally, nothing to be excessively frustrated with. But then my computer system kept freezing on me, even after repeated restarts of both the system and the computer.

That initial irritation at the system I depend on to do my job not running smoothly escalated into frustration with the callers on my phone not having patience while I did my best to help them despite the slow system. That frustration maxed out when I had to spend 10 minutes after a call contacting this department and that department and the other department because of an error message that would not let me exit the account to take the next call.

I ended up solving the issue myself because no one I was contacting was being of any help. But the cumulation of one small irritating thing after another was me trying to hold back tears of anger at my desk to the point where my boss came over to ask if I was okay.

Depression is a thing that I live with. As part of that, I have days where I won’t seem depressed. It’ll seem more like I’m on a war path. It’s something that will be a part of my life probably forever. I’m learning ways to deal with it, but I appreciate those around me who are understanding.

How do you deal with mood swings and irritations when you’re depressed?

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2 thoughts on “That’s Too Much, Man!

  1. Just found your blog after googling “introvert call center job” because I was considering taking a job at a call center.

    I like your writing style. You describe depression very well here. Mood swings are one of the mental problems I deal with. For me I’m not sure what triggers it, but I don’t think my hormones help. Ive wondered for years now if I have PMDD.

    Alone time, spending time journaling or with my creative hobbies are just some of the ways I cope.

    One last thing, the title of this post, is it a reference to Bo-Jack The Horseman?

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